Mr. I-Told-You-So and Mrs. Emotional-Dramabazi
cordially (read because of society and because you invited us for your daughter's marriage) request the pleasure (yeah right!) of your company on the occasion of wedding of their son,
Mr Bechara Bakra, B.Tech (Obviously)
Ms. Emotionally Blackmailed, B. Tech (Again, obviously)
D/o Mrs. & Mr. Soon-To-Be-Kangaal
Address Is Vague Because We Don't Want You To Enquire
on Friday, the 13th of May 2016
That Big Marriage Hall in the City with Air Conditioned Halls and Little Parking
and for lunch thereafter.
Please consider this as our personal invitation and graze the occasion with your esteemed presence. Please make this occasion memorable with your hushed whispers about the bride, her dress, her make-up, the amount of the jewellery, the food, what you heard about our family in the grapevine, and other gossips you heard in the rumour mill, because the food and the drinks are free, the hall is air-conditioned, and we are paying for everything.
Also consider this as our personal invitation to speculate on and/or discuss the future life of our son and our bahu from day 1 including when they should have a baby, whether our son is virile, or a gay, or whether the bahu should see your gynaecologist or any other matter you find worthy of your discussions during the next marriage of someone you know.
Your presence is the best present!
(But yes, we are keeping a tab of the presents because we had our son's marriage in mind when we gave you all those presents on different occasions)
(Because we have to inform the bride's parents whether they will have to mortgage the house too)