A couple of weeks down the lane in the new year, and I look back at the year that was. (Or should I do a Cyrus Broacha on this and ponder on the year that wasn't?) It has been ages since I posted something in my blog and now, on an occassional log-on, I can hear it squeak and skreak as if to remind me that it was rusting among the pile of blogs in Blogger.
Everywhere the focus is on the year ahead. The new year bashes, the never-gonna-happen resolutions, your year ahead in terms of the sun, the moon, the planets, your tarrot, his parrot, the bunny's carrot!!! The only people who think that the gone-by year sells is the Visual Media people who go on bullshitting on the timelines of 2011.
Talking of timelines, even my Facebook account seems to be desperate to join the race and go for TIMELINES. Not only FB, but generally, 2011 was an year for Internet disappointments and disasters. Facebook turned out to be a "besharam" and made me feel as if I was stripping in public! Comments, likes, pokes, whatever I did was instantaneously publicized on everyone's screens!!! Add to that humiliation, everyone was going for Timeline, which, for me, was Hieroglyphics! It looked huge and clumsy. Whenever I asked someone who had undergone the makeover, I just got one reply - :this is more of a treat to the eye. This is in, dude!!" Well, I'm prefer to remain OUT! A surprisingly unexpected blow was from Google. The wanted to switch Gmail to the new look!!! The new look was yet again boring. It took longer to load, especillay on my friend's laptop, which literally pants for breath while booting on Windows 7. Google was kind enough to extend the old look Gmail to me for sometime, but at the same time threatening me that the fling was a mere temporary one and that one day, I'll have to let go of it for the better looking "sautan".
But among all the Internet disappointments, the most far reaching one was by the Official Premier League site; especially since Asianet is engaged in StarWars with ESPN! No wonder how many hits I make to this site, I still fumble to find what I need. Ealier, it was nothing fancy, but it was easy and useful. Now, with Timelines (yeah, you heard it right. Timelines are infectious and spreads through air like Swine Flu) and the new posh look, it takes forever to load. More than that, it would screw up your head before you could read a full commentary by gliding through the slides! Phew!!!
2011 was the year of Spams and Scams. Now, for the ones who are staring at the screen with raised eyebrows, wondering about the possible link between the two, let me explain. Oh no no. It has got nothing to do with Phishing ( why the hell didn't they go for the name Fishing itself, if they wanted it to sound that way!!!) or Vishing, you Smartass!!! I heard that some old guy named Anna was going on fast because some Raja,Kalmadi & Inc had scooped lakhs of crores of ruppess which should have otherwise flowed into our economy to create eight lane highways and lots and lots of KFCs, MCDonalds and CCDs. The thought about the deprived obese middle class dudes & chicks who ate fries with "diet" coke flased through my mind. I read the message in my mobile again - One miss call to this number and show your solidarity to Anna. I was suddenly filled with a sense of patriotism which usually came only while watching Lagaan, Swades or RDB. I didn't have to think twice. Lag diya call. They were courteous enough to auto-disconnect my call and send me an appreciation message for the support for the movement. I beamed with joy as if I had just delivered Independance to India. A few weeks down the lane, I started receiving all kinds of message:" Anna is fasting for you even with a 103 degree fever. Will you simply sit at our home?" it asked me. I stared at my mobile for a second. I knew i had to do it, and I did it. No no, I didn't go out on the streets shouting slogans and holding placards. I simply deleted the message and went back to watching football!!
Nothing was the same after that miss call. I began to receive a lot of spam messages day in and day out. Everyone was selling me spy cams and voice recorders and Viagra and what not! And yes, I won millions of pounds, euro and dollars in lottery. Yahoo and Google chose me as their lucky user to inherit a few millions shares and even RBI wanted me to have a share of the country's money! This, added to the already irritating calls from Airtel Digital TV and MTS made me hate my mobile. Oh yes, I almost forgot; Airtel had some issues (read as only in few selected nos) due to which I began to receive every single message 20-30 times. How sweet of them; lest some important message go unnoticed! And add to that the joy of deleting messages on a touch screen!
Finance. Why didn't my astrologer say to me that my dimes were going down the drain this year? With the Sensex starting on a high note, I didn't waste another minute and pumped all I saved into the market. Now, with the stock market at a low, my portfolio has nearly halved! Oh for all those you silly who are going to lecture me on the global market cues and the inflation, don't be an idiot. It had nothing to do with that. It was because Uranus was blocking my Venus!!!
And for all those who survived reading my blabbering till now, I really don't know how to end this post. Someone once told me the best way to stop a post is with a Full Stop! Ciao. And oh yeah, Happy New Year!!! Better late than never.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
What's in a Daddy???!!!
How does it feel to be a Dad??? The dads and the soon-to-be-dads among the readers, please tell me. I've always wondered what makes him so special? What does it take to be a good father?
For long we have heard the cliched lines, repeated an zillion times by our soap operas and cheesy films, "I carried you for nine months in my womb!!!!" But why is it that still for a little kid, his/her daddy is the Special One. Why is that the child is intrigued by his varied emotions - care, anger, compassion, love....
Just today, my sister was telling me how my little nephew, who is barely 10 months, is crazy about his dad. He is all he needs, she said. He just goes hyper at the sight of his daddy at the door. What is so special about fathers that even a 10 month old baby can recognise? Is it the strong arms that he knows for sure would catch him on his way back after being throw in the air? How else can you describe it, when a child (or anyone else for the matter), whose basic response to a free fall would be fear and panic, manages to remain oblivious and shriek in excitement at the fall?
"Mere Paas Maa He!!" A line immortalised by Sashi Kapoor in the 1975 Amitabh thriller Deewar still rings in our head at random. True. There can never be a more biological and emotional attachment to another person but mom. She is the secret weapon - you want something, you get it through her! Sacrificing, caring, loving, benevolent, she is a billion things at a single moment. But you have to accept it, 23 of those chromosomes in each cell belongs to us!
Not many mother's would agree to this, but the daddy is indeed the Special One. We might not have carried the kids for nine months ( sorry, it wasn't decided by us or by choice; it was nature's universal law!!!), we might not have suffered pain or pushed hard, we might not have changed diapers, we might not have put up with the kids' tantrums through their growing years, but the fact remains that the daddy is always a man of placed by the kids on a higher pedestal. For the child, he is one who cannot fail; he is strong enough to protect him from any harm, he would scold you, beat you but he is still the Daddy.
The other day, I was paying an evening visit to one of my colleagues who had just returned after her maternity leave. I was chatting to her husband and he was telling me how hard it was to be a father. All those sleepless nights, the crying, the lullabies. He was exhausted and had dark circles around his eyes. My friend calls out from the kitchen "Excuse me, but what about me, uh?".
"Oh please. You have to go to the beauty parlour and I'm left with the baby alone?" And he turns to me and says, " Know what. Never marry! I baby sat for 5 hours while she had her pedicures, manicures, bleach etc etc.... "
And even before he could complete, she stormed out of the kitchen in an apron, a spatula in one hand and states, "You don't BABY-SIT your kids; it's called PARENTING!!!"
Poor guy, he ate his dinner in utter silence that day, I heard!!!
So, we are back at the same old question. Oh no, its not the "Have I Made It Large" question. It is the caption itself- What's in a Daddy? I don't know. Maybe, I'll know the answer. Maybe some day, when I throw my baby girl (Yes, a baby girl) in the air and see the joy and excitement in her eyes as she giggles on her way down, it would strike upon me. Till then, and ever so after, daddies will always remain the Special One. Oh and, I LOVE U MOM. LOVE U LOTS!!!
For long we have heard the cliched lines, repeated an zillion times by our soap operas and cheesy films, "I carried you for nine months in my womb!!!!" But why is it that still for a little kid, his/her daddy is the Special One. Why is that the child is intrigued by his varied emotions - care, anger, compassion, love....
Just today, my sister was telling me how my little nephew, who is barely 10 months, is crazy about his dad. He is all he needs, she said. He just goes hyper at the sight of his daddy at the door. What is so special about fathers that even a 10 month old baby can recognise? Is it the strong arms that he knows for sure would catch him on his way back after being throw in the air? How else can you describe it, when a child (or anyone else for the matter), whose basic response to a free fall would be fear and panic, manages to remain oblivious and shriek in excitement at the fall?
"Mere Paas Maa He!!" A line immortalised by Sashi Kapoor in the 1975 Amitabh thriller Deewar still rings in our head at random. True. There can never be a more biological and emotional attachment to another person but mom. She is the secret weapon - you want something, you get it through her! Sacrificing, caring, loving, benevolent, she is a billion things at a single moment. But you have to accept it, 23 of those chromosomes in each cell belongs to us!
Not many mother's would agree to this, but the daddy is indeed the Special One. We might not have carried the kids for nine months ( sorry, it wasn't decided by us or by choice; it was nature's universal law!!!), we might not have suffered pain or pushed hard, we might not have changed diapers, we might not have put up with the kids' tantrums through their growing years, but the fact remains that the daddy is always a man of placed by the kids on a higher pedestal. For the child, he is one who cannot fail; he is strong enough to protect him from any harm, he would scold you, beat you but he is still the Daddy.
The other day, I was paying an evening visit to one of my colleagues who had just returned after her maternity leave. I was chatting to her husband and he was telling me how hard it was to be a father. All those sleepless nights, the crying, the lullabies. He was exhausted and had dark circles around his eyes. My friend calls out from the kitchen "Excuse me, but what about me, uh?".
"Oh please. You have to go to the beauty parlour and I'm left with the baby alone?" And he turns to me and says, " Know what. Never marry! I baby sat for 5 hours while she had her pedicures, manicures, bleach etc etc.... "
And even before he could complete, she stormed out of the kitchen in an apron, a spatula in one hand and states, "You don't BABY-SIT your kids; it's called PARENTING!!!"
Poor guy, he ate his dinner in utter silence that day, I heard!!!
So, we are back at the same old question. Oh no, its not the "Have I Made It Large" question. It is the caption itself- What's in a Daddy? I don't know. Maybe, I'll know the answer. Maybe some day, when I throw my baby girl (Yes, a baby girl) in the air and see the joy and excitement in her eyes as she giggles on her way down, it would strike upon me. Till then, and ever so after, daddies will always remain the Special One. Oh and, I LOVE U MOM. LOVE U LOTS!!!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Rendezvous
"...the sacrifice of hiding in a lie... " It was my mobile ringing. I take out the mobile from its pouch. It's an unknown number. I take one glance at the old lady in front of me. She gives me a poised look. I decide to pick up the call.
Hello, I say.
I hear a giggle at the other end and instantly know who the caller is.
Busy?
No, tell me.
Tomorrow is on, right?
I look at the long line of people waiting to get attended to. And I know that tomorrow wouldn't be any different.
YES!!!
I hear another giggle and a click. The phone goes dead. I had come to love and hate this giggle alternately for the past five years.
Tomorrow
I didn't know u had a ride. Where are we going?
The pick was a beach 25kms from the city. So chosen because it was a weekday and it would be pretty much deserted during this time of the day. Even at this time, it took 45 minutes to get there.
The phone was ringing. Its the manager. He is definitely furious that I didn't show up for work today and that too without a word to him. As soon as the ringing stopped, I switched off my mobile.
I'm gonna love this! She gasped as she saw the white waves striking against the rocks. Like a small kid, she ran out to the beach line and was fully drenched by a big wave. It was high-tide. She gave a shriek and began kicking at the waves.
She looks at me and starts giggling. It had been nine months since I last saw this giggling girl. I felt something pulling at my heart.
So, how u been all this along? She asks as she bites off a piece of chicken tikka from the toothpick.
I'm good.
Hows the work? This time, she takes a gulp from my mug of beer. She prefers to remain oblivious to the fact that two men are staring at her from a couple of tables away, them being the only other occupants at the small sea side pub attached to the resort. How much ever big the hotel might be, this was still Kerala and girls weren't a common thing in bars.
I guess its going good. I take the mug from her and finish the remaining beer. While I refill it, she takes another bite of chicken.
You are such a hypocrite. Being a Brahmin and drinking and eating chicken.
And what are u? Saint?
I immediately regretted making that comment. She was still the same, bubbly yet sharp.
Hows ur guy?
He's good. We will be together in a week.
Mmmm. I know.
U know, u still look ur miserable self. U never learnt to live life.
No. I'm really doing good. I've got a job I love. I've my own apartment. I live according to my own whims and rules. I protested. I took a long drag from the cigarette.
Thats another thing. U always wanted to live alone na? Now u get it. U r such a wasted life.
And u are drunk. She remains nonchalant as if she didn't hear my last comment.
Did u ever realise that I loved u once???
Yeah??? I decided to bluff. I knew she had feelings for me.
Like hell u didn't know. I know that u always knew it. U r such a big lying bastard. How could any girl possibly love u? No wonder she left u.
U never told me. Then why blame me? I was losing it now.
Cos u were busy playing the Devdas and social retard!!! U r such a jerk.
At least u can be happy and relieved that u are with him and not me.
I would have been dead by now if it was u. I'm so much better off with him! He isn't afraid to love me and tell me that.
Keep ur voice low. There are people around us. And u r really drunk. We should leave now.
The best thing about now is that I'm drinking off ur wallet and I get to say things at u. I like it. Her eyes were drooping.
U cant even manage to have a single bottle of beer!!! Does he know that u r with me...drinking?
Yeahhhh.. He knows I'm with u. Drinking, no no. He would kill me if he knew I was drinking. She giggles again.
I signal for the waiter to collect the bill. I pull her out of the chair and we leave towards the parking lot where I left my car. The two men are still at the their table and they stare at us as we leave.
U remember that longgg conversation we had in the second year, in the deserted college auditorium??? She looks at me for a response. I nod. Well, it is by far the best conversation that I ever had with anyone in my entire life.
Should I be honoured. I thought I would humour her.
I know u don't give a shit? How did u become such a stone-faced arrogant jerk??
Wow!!! That's a lot of adjectives thrown together. I give her a fake smile.
See! U are still being the same. I'm sick of u!
Did u come all the way to meet me just to make me feel like a loser.
Aren't u one already??? Did I've to try hard? It was the final blow, the sucker punch. I tapped out. We made a silent agreement to remain silent through the rest of the journey.
She had sobered up pretty well by the time we reached my apartment. She was all together a new persona now.
Make me a black tea please. A strong one.
I nodded.
She sat on the kitchen slab as I made the tea for her. I poured her a cup of the strong brew. I lighted a cigarette for myself and moved to the balcony. She followed me and leaned against me.
Stop smoking, will u?
I'm thinking about that. I'll....soon.
Come to Bangalore sometimes. He would love to see u. And me too.
Yeah, I'll try. But the thing is that I've work on Saturdays too.
Catch a flight. I expect her to giggle again. But she doesn't.
It is nearly six. High time she left if she wanted to be home by 10. She was ready to leave.
Come to Bangalore. She says again. I simply nod in reply.
She seems a little in doubt and then she gives me peck of the cheek. We stare at each other for a moment. On an impulse, I pull her towards me and kiss her on her lips. It lasts only for a few moments. She pulls away from me and turns around. My heart is fluttering and I can feel it on my tee.
Lets leave. I'm already late.
I grab the key to car and by then she has already opened the door and is outside.
I'm sorry. I manage to say while I drive her to the bus stand. I get no reply and we ride in silence for the next five minutes.
Bye. Be safe. Call me once u reach home.
She nods and walks off towards the bus towards her home. I watch her as she climbs into the bus. I give her a final wave and she waves back. I climb into my car and starts the ignition.
Hello, I say.
I hear a giggle at the other end and instantly know who the caller is.
Busy?
No, tell me.
Tomorrow is on, right?
I look at the long line of people waiting to get attended to. And I know that tomorrow wouldn't be any different.
YES!!!
I hear another giggle and a click. The phone goes dead. I had come to love and hate this giggle alternately for the past five years.
Tomorrow
I didn't know u had a ride. Where are we going?
The pick was a beach 25kms from the city. So chosen because it was a weekday and it would be pretty much deserted during this time of the day. Even at this time, it took 45 minutes to get there.
The phone was ringing. Its the manager. He is definitely furious that I didn't show up for work today and that too without a word to him. As soon as the ringing stopped, I switched off my mobile.
I'm gonna love this! She gasped as she saw the white waves striking against the rocks. Like a small kid, she ran out to the beach line and was fully drenched by a big wave. It was high-tide. She gave a shriek and began kicking at the waves.
She looks at me and starts giggling. It had been nine months since I last saw this giggling girl. I felt something pulling at my heart.
So, how u been all this along? She asks as she bites off a piece of chicken tikka from the toothpick.
I'm good.
Hows the work? This time, she takes a gulp from my mug of beer. She prefers to remain oblivious to the fact that two men are staring at her from a couple of tables away, them being the only other occupants at the small sea side pub attached to the resort. How much ever big the hotel might be, this was still Kerala and girls weren't a common thing in bars.
I guess its going good. I take the mug from her and finish the remaining beer. While I refill it, she takes another bite of chicken.
You are such a hypocrite. Being a Brahmin and drinking and eating chicken.
And what are u? Saint?
I immediately regretted making that comment. She was still the same, bubbly yet sharp.
Hows ur guy?
He's good. We will be together in a week.
Mmmm. I know.
U know, u still look ur miserable self. U never learnt to live life.
No. I'm really doing good. I've got a job I love. I've my own apartment. I live according to my own whims and rules. I protested. I took a long drag from the cigarette.
Thats another thing. U always wanted to live alone na? Now u get it. U r such a wasted life.
And u are drunk. She remains nonchalant as if she didn't hear my last comment.
Did u ever realise that I loved u once???
Yeah??? I decided to bluff. I knew she had feelings for me.
Like hell u didn't know. I know that u always knew it. U r such a big lying bastard. How could any girl possibly love u? No wonder she left u.
U never told me. Then why blame me? I was losing it now.
Cos u were busy playing the Devdas and social retard!!! U r such a jerk.
At least u can be happy and relieved that u are with him and not me.
I would have been dead by now if it was u. I'm so much better off with him! He isn't afraid to love me and tell me that.
Keep ur voice low. There are people around us. And u r really drunk. We should leave now.
The best thing about now is that I'm drinking off ur wallet and I get to say things at u. I like it. Her eyes were drooping.
U cant even manage to have a single bottle of beer!!! Does he know that u r with me...drinking?
Yeahhhh.. He knows I'm with u. Drinking, no no. He would kill me if he knew I was drinking. She giggles again.
I signal for the waiter to collect the bill. I pull her out of the chair and we leave towards the parking lot where I left my car. The two men are still at the their table and they stare at us as we leave.
U remember that longgg conversation we had in the second year, in the deserted college auditorium??? She looks at me for a response. I nod. Well, it is by far the best conversation that I ever had with anyone in my entire life.
Should I be honoured. I thought I would humour her.
I know u don't give a shit? How did u become such a stone-faced arrogant jerk??
Wow!!! That's a lot of adjectives thrown together. I give her a fake smile.
See! U are still being the same. I'm sick of u!
Did u come all the way to meet me just to make me feel like a loser.
Aren't u one already??? Did I've to try hard? It was the final blow, the sucker punch. I tapped out. We made a silent agreement to remain silent through the rest of the journey.
She had sobered up pretty well by the time we reached my apartment. She was all together a new persona now.
Make me a black tea please. A strong one.
I nodded.
She sat on the kitchen slab as I made the tea for her. I poured her a cup of the strong brew. I lighted a cigarette for myself and moved to the balcony. She followed me and leaned against me.
Stop smoking, will u?
I'm thinking about that. I'll....soon.
Come to Bangalore sometimes. He would love to see u. And me too.
Yeah, I'll try. But the thing is that I've work on Saturdays too.
Catch a flight. I expect her to giggle again. But she doesn't.
It is nearly six. High time she left if she wanted to be home by 10. She was ready to leave.
Come to Bangalore. She says again. I simply nod in reply.
She seems a little in doubt and then she gives me peck of the cheek. We stare at each other for a moment. On an impulse, I pull her towards me and kiss her on her lips. It lasts only for a few moments. She pulls away from me and turns around. My heart is fluttering and I can feel it on my tee.
Lets leave. I'm already late.
I grab the key to car and by then she has already opened the door and is outside.
I'm sorry. I manage to say while I drive her to the bus stand. I get no reply and we ride in silence for the next five minutes.
Bye. Be safe. Call me once u reach home.
She nods and walks off towards the bus towards her home. I watch her as she climbs into the bus. I give her a final wave and she waves back. I climb into my car and starts the ignition.
Writer's Block
This is my first post in several months; to be exact, seven months since A Prelude to My Solitary Exodus.... A Solitary Exodus was all about me, the things that made and unmade me.
There comes a time in life, when u lose the very little faith that u have. I stopped blogging at A Solitary Exodus at such a time, when a multitude of reasons forced me into an exile that I thought would be a permanent one. Wiki likes to call it a Writer's Block. I guess they have a word for everything. Now, I've realised that what I actually did was to try to run away. After five years of blogging, it isn't easy. And it isnt easy to come back to something that u thought u had left for good either. Hence this new blog, BackSpace. My attempt to hit the BackSpace button in my life.
This blog is dedicated to all the people who stood with me during my exile and who really wanted me back in the blogosphere.
Thank You
There comes a time in life, when u lose the very little faith that u have. I stopped blogging at A Solitary Exodus at such a time, when a multitude of reasons forced me into an exile that I thought would be a permanent one. Wiki likes to call it a Writer's Block. I guess they have a word for everything. Now, I've realised that what I actually did was to try to run away. After five years of blogging, it isn't easy. And it isnt easy to come back to something that u thought u had left for good either. Hence this new blog, BackSpace. My attempt to hit the BackSpace button in my life.
This blog is dedicated to all the people who stood with me during my exile and who really wanted me back in the blogosphere.
Thank You
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