Love Story.....

This is a re-post from my old blog a solitary exodus.

I always wanted to fall in love; not just fall in love, but wanted it to be perfect. After so many crushes, infatuations and relations, I stand here, all alone, wondering what it takes to make love perfect.

Love is a crazy world, all those roller-coaster rides of emotions, the highs and lows, the longingness, the fights. I HATE LOVE!!! It just comes to ur life when u least expect it, changes u over-night, ur world is totally different and when u begin to believe that love is perfect, it just leaves u, all bleeding from ur heart.

To begin with, u have all these expectations about ur better half. The biggest mistake in most relationships, whether love, friendship or any other kind of relationship is that u expect things. Expectations hurt!!! I wanted her to be mature, jovial, understanding, adventurous, flexible... The list was a lil' long.

Then someone, no better than the rest of the people around u, walks pasts u and does something really stupid that changes ur life forever. It could be a smile, a word, a hand, anything really silly, something that hundreds of others had done to u and u had never noticed it! She wouldn't be meeting even half of ur long list of eligibility criteria yet u forget all about ur expectations and goes out full on to woo her. Ur world shrinks to that single person. U don't have time for friends or partying anymore. U look up for all the offers available by every single mobile operator and makes ur messages and calls free 24x7. U spent ur whole day in ur room, cuddled on ur bed, whispering to the fone. U ignore the loud knocks on ur door, shout at ur friends & ask them to just go away, & that u'll have ur dinner later. U listen to songs that u could dedicate to her, write ur own love poems, for someone who never ironed his dress, u start to frantically search for the iron box, u wake up early and stay up late, u watch movies that u would have hated otherwise. The things that love can make us do!

When was the last time u went out with ur friends for a movie? It seems ages ago! But u remember all the times u went out with her, the friends who had come with her, and her friends' friends. And u have time & money to call everyone in her friends circle but then u realise that u had forgot to wish ur friend of many years on his birthday. "FUCK", that would be the automated response. But u still go on thinking that he would understand. U come to luv her perfume, asks her a thousand questions on what she likes about every single topic on this earth, u do all the crazy things u thought u would never do; anything for that one smile, one touch of hers, one kiss. U luv those lil' things she does, like pulling at that lock of hair that always falls to her face, the way she makes a face when she plays with u, the way she dress, walk, talk, laugh, cry and what not!!!

And things seems to be perfect. U go on to talk about ur future, the paint of ur future bedroom, ur honeymoon destination, all those stupid silly things that u would later attribute to immaturity. Then the questions comes:

"How much do u love me jaan?"

Like time, with no beginning and no ending. Or was it, I would stretch my hands and till they meet??

"What will u do if I die?"

My world would be torn apart. I would go mad. Don't say this jaanu, I can't even bear the thought of it.

"What if our parents don't agree?"

We will convince them baby. Is our love that weak that we can't convince our parents? After all, it's our parents na!

Then it happens. It started as a small fight over a silly thing and ends up in the breakup. The name calling starts and accusations flying all around. The usual list of addressing would be selfish, immature, egoistic, pessimist, sadist, jealous, MCP, bastard, bitch, loser.... The list is endless to no end! U go back to ur old friends who were just waiting for u. They had seen this over and over again and always knew that it was bound to happen. They ask u for the reason and u tell them, "It was suffocating. She changed a lot afterwards. We wanted to go on our separate ways. There was something missing in it. We hope being independant would help."

U forget what u saw in that person when u first met her and got together. Regardless of what happened, they are still the same person u met and have a right to their dignity.

Someone acts as the Agony-Aunt or the Agony-Uncle. They tell u, "U were not compatible yaar. It was never meant to be" U nod ur head and take another sip of ur beer and smile weakly. And u walk back to ur hostel, just like the good old days, laughing, signing, playing and suddenly u brush past a girl unknowingly. U turn ur head and say sorry and she smiles back at u.

"OMG!!! Man, she is beautiful."

Does anyone learn from his/her mistakes??? I don't think so. But life still goes on.... Vikram Kapoor had rightly said, "There is only one thing worse than not finding love; that is to find it and lose it. For it marks u for ur life..." I HATE LOVE!!!

In search of the Muziris...

For the past few days, I’ve been feeling a passion for something I have hated till now – History. Our hatred was well built over the years, starting from the days when Social Studies branched out into History, Geography, Civics and Economics in the school curriculum. For someone who hated mugging up, I was always frustrated with the huge volume of insignificant data it carried - the names of people, kings, the countless important dates and years!!! And it is really strange that I suddenly found it interesting. I don’t know how it happened or why it happened, but for the past few days, I’ve started reading on the ancient history and culture of Central Travancore, especially my hometown Thrissur and its nearby areas.

I was specifically drawn to the history of a long-forgotten-never-found-land, Muziris (Muchiri or Mucciri). Even though I had heard a lot about this particular word, I never knew what it was. I could have never even guessed that it was a place! Until recently, the whereabouts of this sea-port was unknown. Thought to be lying on the upper banks of the River Periyaar, the port-city was later destroyed; by what, is still a mystery.

Muziris is said to be derived from the local name “Mucciripattanam”; mucciri meaning cleft palate while pattanam means port. A few years back, in an idle village called Pattanam, 10 kilometres from Kodungallor in Thrissur, excavations revealed the existence of a port city some 4 metres down in the earth. The discovery included coins from Roman& Chera era, a wharf, a canoe, terracotta, Roman glass, beads and stones etc. But there is no solid proof that these discoveries points to the location of Muziris. Muziris is believed to have been a major commercial hub for the European trade route to India. Also, being very near to Kodungallor, it would have been, by all chances, a gateway to religions like Islam, Christianity and Judaism.

The city of Muziris finds mention in many ancient writings by people like Pliny the Elder, Periplus of the Erythraean Sea (Frankly, I haven’t heard of any of them but it does feel good) and in the ancient Tamilian Sangam literature. This city might have been pivotal in many a wars between the European powers and the local rulers. It might also have been the reason for the setting up of India’s oldest and the world’s second oldest mosque at Kodungallor.

What led to the decline and ultimate fall of this city is not know. Some historians think it would have coincided with the fall of the Roman Empire. The sea route through the Red Sea, passing through Roman Egyptian cities of Berenike and Myos Hormos, was the heart of the trade to this South Indian port. Muziris was believed to be on the mouth of the river Periyaar. But an interesting observation is that, except a “thodu” (a branch of the River Periyaar) called as the Paravur Thodu, there is no existence of the mighty river Periyaar. It is believed that Periyaar branched out into two near Muziris and the Great Floods of 1341 caused this branch to silt up changing the course of the river.

Whatever might have happened to this port city, it surely did ignite a passion in me; a desire for knowing my land, its culture and its rich heritage. A curiosity to know more, explore the unknowns. And I hope to keep the fire burning and set out on a quest satisfy my urge. Oh, and I’m feeling jealous of the historians and the archaeologists!!!