Wedding Invitation

Mr. I-Told-You-So and Mrs. Emotional-Dramabazi

cordially (read because of society and because you invited us for your daughter's marriage) request the pleasure (yeah right!) of your company on the occasion of wedding of their son,

Mr Bechara Bakra, B.Tech (Obviously)

with

Ms. Emotionally Blackmailed, B. Tech (Again, obviously)

D/o Mrs. & Mr. Soon-To-Be-Kangaal

Address Is Vague Because We Don't Want You To Enquire

on Friday, the 13th of May 2016

at 

That Big Marriage Hall in the City with Air Conditioned Halls and Little Parking

and for lunch thereafter.

Please consider this as our personal invitation and graze the occasion with your esteemed presence. Please make this occasion memorable with your hushed whispers about the bride, her dress, her make-up, the amount of the jewellery, the food, what you heard about our family in the grapevine, and other gossips you heard in the rumour mill, because the food and the drinks are free, the hall is air-conditioned, and we are paying for everything.

Also consider this as our personal invitation to speculate on and/or discuss the future life of our son and our bahu from day 1 including when they should have a baby, whether our son is virile, or a gay, or whether the bahu should see your gynaecologist or any other matter you find worthy of your discussions during the next marriage of someone you know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your presence is the best present!

(But yes, we are keeping a tab of the presents because we had our son's marriage in mind when we gave you all those presents on different occasions)

NB: RSVP

(Because we have to inform the bride's parents whether they will have to mortgage the house too)

That One Time In Paris

"Why did we meet? I mean, the virtual meet. Why did you comment on my blog? What were you looking for?" 

She asked him, as she sipped her citrus crush from the comforts of her wicker chair. The joint was an extended balcony overlooking the balcony, with old and ruined red brick half walls, overgrown with vines. It was called Paris. Her eyes returned from the sea and stared into his eyes for a moment, searching for an answer that didn't matter.

"Nothing in particular." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Why did we meet? Maybe because of the Butterfly Effect. Maybe because, somewhere, a butterfly flapped its wings!"

And he smiled.

Dinner

Movements in the hall woke her up from her troubled sleep. She slowly pulled herself out of the bed and took a deep sigh. She slogged her way into the hall, leaning onto the walls for support. It was dark and the lights were all out in the house. She could make out his silhouette at the head of the dining table.

"What's for dinner?", she mumbled in a barely audible voice.

"Justice", he replied in a straight voice.

She looked at him, startled.

"I served justice for dinner", he clarified.

She slowly walked towards to him. He nodded towards the plate in front of him. On it was a head, severed and bleeding.

Even in the dark, she could make out the face to which it once belonged. It used to belong to one of her tormentors. She took a fork from the stand on the table and poked it deep into one of its eye socket. It slid deep inside, as thick fluid oozed out of the corners of the hole.

She left the fork poking out of the socket and grabbed his face in her arms. She kissed it lightly with bruised lips and whispered slowly into his ears, "I'm still hungry!"

No, Not Today

She looked at her reflection in the full length mirror one more time. The large, red bindi, dark kohl, bright red lipstick. She looked perfect, she thought. No, not perfect. She was not perfect. Not today. She corrected herself. But yes, she looked beautiful. She grabbed the pallu in a bunch and adjusted it around her sleeveless shoulder. A good amount of her cleavage was showing over the loosely thrown pallu of her white and red saree. But she didn't care. Not today.

Eric Clapton was singing Wonderful Tonight in the background, in the old gramophone she had inherited from her dadu. She took a deep puff from the Black and stubbed the rest of it in the ash tray on her dressing table. She made a mental note to empty the ash tray when she got back. She took the bottle of perfume she kept on the table and opened its glass lid. She tilted it gently and took a little of it on the glass applicator. She dabbed the perfume on both her wrists and took a whiff of it. She looked at the mirror again and smiled at herself.

"Look at you!", she said to herself.

She turned off the record that was playing and moved towards the door. She slipped into her sandals while balancing herself against the wall. She took the car key from the key stand by the door. She paused for a moment. No, not today. She didn't want to drive. She hung the key back on its hook.

She unbolted the door and stepped outside. She looked to either side of the veranda on the floor. No one. The next moment, she reprimanded herself for doing that. Why was she behaving like a thief? She headed straight towards the staircase. She didn't want to take the lift. She literally ran down two sets of stairs. She had a spring in her steps, a glow in her eyes, and the naughtiness of a 5 year old in her grin.

The watchman on the apartment woke up from his slumber on hearing footsteps. He was very little used to hearing footsteps. Nobody took the stairs unless the lift was not working. Not even the people on the first floor. He could smell her even before he saw her. The evening breeze carried the scent of her perfume way before her. And then she emerged from the building. And she was a sight to behold.

He ogled at her shamelessly. She looked alluring. Her sumptuous cleavage and high navel made him drool. He was so mesmerised and carried away that he forgot to look away when she neared him. Usually, she gives him a smile whenever she passes by him every day. But no, not today. Today, she didn't even throw a glance in his way.

She hummed the lines from Wonderful Tonight as she moved towards the gates of her apartment. She wondered if she will get a taxi in time. As she emerged from the confines of her building and stepped into crowded street, she drew the attention of more people. A teenager who passed by her muttered some dirty remarks in Bengali under his breath. She pretended not to hear them. Not today.

She stepped out of the footpath and onto the road and extended her arms out to hail a cab. An old, black and yellow taxi slowed but moved past her. It had passengers in it. For one moment, it looked as if the taxi driver was willing to ask his passenger to disembark then and there itself, and take this new passenger to her destination. She wasn't that outrageously beautiful for a Bong. Or bold. But today, she was different. She was voluptuous. She was vulnerable. And she oozed a boldness she had never known.

A couple of minutes passed and a taxi slowed down to a halt in front of her extended arm. The driver was an old man. He peeped through the passenger side glass and asked, "Kothay jabe?"

"Dada, Princep Ghat", She replied, leaning closer to the window. She didn't want to be heard by her onlookers. Not that anyone could hear her. But nevertheless, she didn't want to take a chance. Not today. You never know who will follow you.

The greying old man nodded his approval. She twisted the handle of the old Ambassador and got into the bucket seat in the back. Old velvet, she thought as she brushed her hand against the seat. She leaned back onto the seat and closed her eyes. Thoughts came running towards her, and soon, she was drowned in them. She didn't realise that she had drifted into a sleep and was dreaming. She was in an open place; too crowded  and noisy for her taste. Amidst all the chaos, she heard his voice booming over the others. Princep Ghat, it said.

"Meye, amra pouchhey gechhi." It was the old taxi driver's voice that shook her up from her dream.

Did he just call her beti? Not didi, but beti. She smiled. For the first time this evening, someone had held her in a non-amorous way. She smiled and asked, "Bhara kato?"

She paid the driver and got out of the taxi. The taxi sped away with a loud noise. Once again, she looked to either side. She prayed that no one she knew was out there tonight. Not today. Nobody was there. The ghat was deserted except for a few couples. She took a deep breath and walked towards the ghat.



(Might be continued....)

New Moon

It was the night after the eclipse. Though it was a new moon, the night sky had a strange glimmer to it. The time was close to midnight, and the beings of the night had come to life. A large group of fireflies danced near the edge of the forest, giving it a festive look. Crickets and other insects were also making their presence felt. In the distance, deep inside the thick forest, the loud thumping and the dancing hadn't stopped. For the tribals, it was a night to appease the spirits of their forefathers.

The meadow at the edge of the forest sported tiny blades of green grass, announcing the end of the long spell of dry and the embracing of the monsoons. The grass bed was moist due to the dew from the night. There was a certain chill in the air and the breeze that gave him goosebumps. But at this moment, he didn't care. He lap in her lap, eyes closed, a look of peace on his face. She had a smile on her face as she ran her hands through his hair with love.

The serenity of the night was interrupted by the shrill laughs of hyenas from a little far away. The smile disappeared from her face. She look in the direction of the sound and let out a long hiss. It looked as if her tongue slithered like a snake's. Her eyes had a strange glow; of fury and contempt. Suddenly, everything went silent. The hyenas were never heard of again, the crickets stopped chirping, the random cries of a night owl was silenced. It was as if the whole forest was muted. An eerie silence ensured. The vibrations of the drums, wood on animal skin, had also waned away into the night.

He lay in her laps, half asleep, unaware of his surroundings, his face fumbling for something in the locks of her dress. Her glance returned to his face, and continued to stroke his hair.


Based on a vivid, recurring dream that I've been having lately. I don't think The Interpretation of Dreams can explain this.

28 Things I Learnt From Life

On 4th of this June, I turned 28 years. I'm nearing the fag end of my twenties (though I don't look a tad bit my age), and anxiously waiting for the 30s tag. Also, this June, I complete a decade of blogging. What started as a craze for html codes and website building led me to blogging. Back then, blogging was mostly unheard of. Last year, around this time, I came up with Being 27: The Pre Birthday Random Musings, which was 27 random things about me. This year, on the realization that Age is a high price to pay for Maturity, I've decided to write about 28 things that I learnt from my life so far. And yes, Happy Birthday to me!

1. In life, contrary to popular belief and faith, a lot of people get by with shit. Accept it, and deal with it.

2. Admit it if you're wrong. It's never too late for an apology. Sorry might be a difficult word to say, but say it when you're wrong. And when you say it, mean it. Own up your mistakes. Never be a coward.

3. Money isn't everything, but it is really something. It's necessary to save some. And it's useless to cry over the money you lost.

4. Some things are not worth fighting for. Some things are better off when you let go.

5. Life is not always fair; in fact, on most occasions, it is grossly unfair. Learn to deal with it.

6. Back to basics that we learnt as a kid, but chose to forget. The basic necessities of man is indeed food, water, and shelter. He can do without internet connections, or mobile coverage, or social networking sites. But clean water, clean place to live, and clean, palatable food are the basics. Recent experiences reminded me that.

7. People do some crazy things for friendship. Much, much more than for love, or any other relationships. If you've a friend like that, treasure him/her, no matter what.

8. You’re never too old to need your mom.

9. Another basic lesson I learned while growing up - Health is Wealth. Even a constipated stomach can give you a constipated mind. Money spent on prevention, especially Medi-claims, is a wise investment.

10. Never lie to your doctor. Also, when it comes to health, always get a second opinion, no matter how reputed the first doctor is.

11. When in doubt, follow your gut.

12. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

13. Never build a relationship based on lies. There may be times when you will have to lie about some trivial things. But the very foundation on which a relationship was built should not be one of stone. You'll find it hard to keep it from tumbling down.

14. Some of the best moments in life are best enjoyed with little or no clothes - childhood, cold showers, swimming, a good bowel movement, and yes, sex too.

15. A lot of things in life is like the stock market. You might incur huge losses in the run. There's no use crying over the losses. Also, clinging on to losing stock in hopes of a reversal is mostly in vain, and foolish. Move on.

16. Don't live in your past. Move on. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is avoidable.

17. Never get yourself a haircut on the day before an important or special day. Get it at least a week before it.

18. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

19. Nothing lasts for ever. Nothing. BlackBerry, I miss you. No phone can replace the relationship we had. The things I've done with you! Why did you have to screw up the things between us?

20. When your friend says that she can never conceive, "Yaay! You don't need to worry about contraception anymore!" isn't an appropriate or expected answer.

21. When you’re with new friends/lover, don’t just talk about old friends/lover.

22. God is the biggest excuse Man has invented, and Virginity is the most overrated virtue on this planet.

23. In life, it is important to be passionate. Everybody needs a passion. If you've not found yours yet, it's high time you did.

24. When travelling, keep your wits about you. You'll need in more than on one occassion. Trust no one.

25. At least once an year, take a vacation without your mobile phone, internet, and TV.

26. Life is so much simpler without the so called social networking sites. The friends you've are for real.

27. There's no cut off age to be an asshole. They are found in all age groups.

28. Behave to people younger to you and your subordinates the way you'd want older people and your superiors to behave to you. Give and take respect.

Have you met Jack?

It was late into the night. Weekend traffic was still heavy on the flyover that looked like a hurdles athlete who had taken a leap to bypass the city. The sky was still crowded with rain clouds after the surprise summer shower during the evening, and there still was the occasional glimmer of a distant thunder in the otherwise dark and gloomy night sky. The wind was chilly, and fairly strong. As I looked on from the balcony on the 13th floor, bright lights zoomed past each other on the six lane traffic, creating a distinctive sound each time they covered a concrete slab that made up the flyover, and moved on to the next.

I was leaning with my back against the steel railing of the balcony and feeling the chill of the metal seep into my body, which, combined with the wind, was giving me goosebumps. She was sitting on a rugged wicker easy chair which was probably seeing the last lap of its life due to the neglect and carelessness at the hands of its owner. She shook her head from the side to back, hoping the bang that fell on her face would go back to its right place. She brought the lighter closer to her lips, and lit the Classic that stuck out of her mouth. As the tip grew into a glowing red, she let off a huge puff of blue smoke into the night sky and inhaled.

She threw the lighter onto the small coffee table that came with the chair. It has cracked. Just like her, I thought. She leaned back onto the chair, and blew another round of smoke into the air, but this time slowly. Her gaze turned to me.

"So.... Have you met Jack?", she asked.

I was a bit confused. I didn't remember any Jack who was a common friend. Nor did I seem to recollect anyone by that name whom she had mentioned before. But I knew it better not to ask her then. I nodded in denial.

She leaned forward and reached out to the empty glass on the coffee table. She got up and walked a few steps to the table in the dining room. There was an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the it. She titled the bottle and filled her glass with the golden brown liquid. Once she was happy with the quantity she had poured herself, she kept back the bottle on the table, never bothering to put the cap back on it. She removed the lid of the ice bucket, and dipped her hand inside it. She grabbed whatever she could with her hand, which was three pieces of ice that had already melted quite a bit, and dropped them with a plop into her poison.

She grinned at me, and danced her way back to balcony on her toes, doing an occasional turn with the glass raised high, as if it were her partner. She came to the balcony, and leaned on towards me. She reached till my chin. I could smell alcohol in her breath. And tobacco too. And above all that, the very distinctive smell of her. She grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, and pulled herself closer to me. She raised her other hand, the one with the glass, and began to swirl the golden liquid inside the glass in front of my face.

She looked straight into my eyes, and asked me again "So..... Have you met Jack?"